Is School the Only Way to Socialise?

Let's talk about socialisation...

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This week we're talking about homeschooling and socialisation.

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Homeschooling and Socialization

You’ve likely heard it before: “But what about socialization?”

It’s the go-to question when parents consider homeschooling.

The underlying assumption is clear: socialization can only happen in schools.

But is that really true?

Let’s explore the cracks in this argument and uncover why this fear might not be as valid as you think.

What Is Socialisation, Really?

Socialization, at its core, is the process of learning to interact with others, understand societal norms, and develop emotional intelligence.

It’s about building the skills to navigate relationships, resolve conflicts, and communicate effectively.

Nowhere in its definition does it state, “This only happens within the four walls of a classroom.”

So, why do we often tie the concept exclusively to schools?

Why Has Socialisation Been Linked to Schools?

For decades, schools have been marketed as the epicenter of social interaction.

The narrative is straightforward: kids spend hours with their peers, and through this constant exposure, they learn to “fit in.”

But this association might have more to do with convenience and societal norms than actual effectiveness.

After all, schools became the default solution for education only a few hundred years ago.

Before that, humans still managed to learn how to interact, communicate, and thrive in communities.

Think back to pre-industrial societies.

Children learned social skills by participating in their communities.

They interacted with people of all ages, helping with daily tasks, learning trades, and engaging in cultural rituals.

Socialisation was holistic, integrated into life itself. It wasn’t compartmentalised into a classroom where the same-age peers were the only points of contact.

So why do we assume that modern schooling is the only way to socialise?

The Truth About School-Based Socialisation

Let’s address the elephant in the room.

If schools guarantee excellent social skills, why are so many adults, products of the traditional schooling system, socially awkward, emotionally immature, or struggling to navigate relationships?

Think about it.

We’ve all met people who can deliver a polished presentation but crumble in genuine social settings.

Others can’t handle conflicts or lack emotional intelligence.

If schools were the ultimate incubators of social skills, wouldn’t these issues be less prevalent?

The reality is that socialisation in schools often comes with its own set of challenges: bullying, peer pressure, and rigid social hierarchies.

These experiences don’t necessarily nurture emotional or interpersonal growth.

Instead, they can leave lasting scars, making some people less socially adept than others.

What Really Defines Strong Social Skills?

Strong social skills stem from meaningful interactions, emotional support, and exposure to diverse social settings.

It’s about quality, not quantity.

And this can happen anywhere, not just in schools.

Homeschooling, when done thoughtfully, provides ample opportunities for socialisation through community groups, extracurricular activities, playdates, and volunteering.

What About Homeschooled Kids?

Critics often point to anecdotal stories of homeschooled children who struggle socially.

But let’s be clear.

This isn’t a homeschooling issue. It’s a parenting issue.

Just as traditional schools don’t automatically guarantee strong social skills, homeschooling doesn’t inherently lead to poor socialisation.

It’s about how parents create environments where their children can thrive socially.

And yes, there are thousands of examples of homeschooled kids who are not just well-socialised but excel emotionally and socially.

The difference lies in intentionality.

Practical Tips for Socialising Homeschooled Kids

If you’re worried about socialisation, here’s how you can ensure your homeschooled child gets the experiences they need:

  1. Join Homeschool Co-Ops: These groups provide academic and social opportunities with other homeschoolers.

  2. Participate in Community Activities: Sign your child up for sports teams, art classes, or theater groups.

  3. Encourage Multi-Age Interaction: Unlike schools, where kids mostly interact with peers, homeschoolers can engage with people of all ages, which mirrors real-life social settings.

  4. Plan Regular Playdates: Build a network of families with kids of similar ages.

  5. Model Social Skills: Children learn a lot by observing how their parents interact with others. Be a positive role model.

What the Experts Say

Julie Bogart, a homeschooling advocate and author of The Brave Learner, says, “Children flourish when they are seen and supported. Real socialisation isn’t about sitting next to a peer in math class; it’s about learning how to connect meaningfully with others.”

Research That Supports This

A study published in the Journal of Educational Alternatives found that homeschooled children often exhibit higher levels of emotional and social maturity compared to their traditionally schooled peers.

This is largely due to their exposure to diverse social settings and the individualised attention they receive at home.

The Bottom Line

If fear of “poor socialisation” is the only thing holding you back from homeschooling, it’s time to rethink.

Schools don’t have a monopoly on teaching kids how to be social.

Social skills are nurtured in environments where children feel safe, valued, and exposed to meaningful interactions.

That can happen anywhere, with the right approach.

So, ask yourself: Are you ready to give your child the kind of socialisation that fosters true emotional and intellectual growth?

The answer might just surprise you.

🛠️ Tools & Resources

Shiller Math Kit:
It is a comprehensive Montessori-based curriculum that includes a diagnostic test, lesson books, a parent guide, an answer key, and a CD with math songs. It caters to students from preschool to 8th grade and offers a lifetime of downloads for consumables.

Type: Games – Ages: All Ages – Info: Secular

Before 5 in a Row:
Before 5 in a Row is a collection of classic picture book lessons with creative activities to gently and consistently nurture a lifelong love of learning in young children.

Type: Books – Ages: Kindergarten – Info: Faith-based

Kinderlab Robotics: 
Kinderlab Robotics is the creator of KIBO, a coding robot designed for young learners. Their curriculum and teaching materials provide over 160 hours of content aligned with current standards, emphasizing the importance of coding skills for today's world.

Type: Online Schools – Ages: K-Grade 4 – Info: Secular

🤓 Recommended Reads

This section includes some relevant articles/videos, people to check out, and links you might find interesting and useful.

  • Did you know playing with kids of different ages can do something amazing for their confidence and kindness? Find out how it works!

  • Ever felt that failure is being overhyped as a way to build resilience? This piece explores why kids don't need more failure to succeed but instead need engaging, meaningful challenges and supportive environments.

Until next week,

Hippo

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