A Homeschooling Mom's Guide to Breaking Cycles and Raising Lifelong Learners

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Purdy is a second-generation Chinese-Canadian from British Columbia, currently living on the unceded territories of the Coast Salish People in Vancouver, Canada.

She holds a BSc in Plant Biology and Conservation from UBC and has three children, aged 6, 9, and 12.

Her family follows a wildschool-y and eclectic homeschooling philosophy, focusing on inspiring lifelong learning and a connection to nature.

Purdy is committed to breaking cycles by changing traditional patterns, emphasizing respectful communication, prioritizing relationships, and decolonizing their lifestyle.

She strives to balance cultural expectations with her instinct to prioritize her children's well-being and pride.

We invited Purdy to share her homeschool experiences with us:

Purdy shares: 

• How she follows a wonder-based learning philosophy

• How she makes learning playful

• Tips on raising kids intentionally and with mindfulness

And more…  

Enjoy!

Why did you decide to homeschool??

I knew very little about homeschooling and I didn’t know many homeschoolers, but I felt an urge to homeschool because I wanted to provide an alternative way for my kids to learn.

I am particularly interested in how we can step outside our current systems to do things differently and more sustainably, instead of doing things the way it’s always been done. I was very lucky to have been able to spend the early years with all my kids with the help of my parents while I worked part-time. When it came time for my eldest kid to enter kindergarten, I felt the pressure to enroll her into a traditional school, so I put away my desires to homeschool and went with the status quo.

Kindergarten was great and she thrived, but as the years went by, I noticed that she wasn’t enjoying school anymore, and that’s when I started thinking about homeschooling again. When the pandemic hit, I didn’t hesitate to jump in and start homeschooling all three kids.

Without the societal constraints and expectations of traditional schooling, we could really reimagine what learning could look like, and we were able to go at our own pace and do what worked for us. We’re now starting our 5th year homeschooling and we couldn’t imagine life and learning any other way.

From your perspective, what are some of the key differences between homeschooling and traditional schooling?

Some of the key benefits of homeschooling VS traditional schooling are:

1. Adapted and personalized learning. With homeschooling, my kids are able to work at their own pace and in a way that works best for them. In a traditional classroom setting with groups of 25-30 students, it’s hard to accommodate students this way.

2. No time limits or constraints. My kids love being able to spend hours and hours of uninterrupted time reading, playing, or working on their interests. We also have more flexibility and time to explore interests and do other things. In a traditional school, they often feel rushed by the limited blocks of time available.

3. More time outside. We love being able to take our learning outdoors and spend time in nature. My kids love to move, so it’s so great to be able to be active, have fun, and learn all at the same time. In a traditional school, there's so much time being inside and sitting all day.

Please let us know what wonder-based learning is, how this has helped your kids, and what tips and advice you have for parents to raise curious kids?

Wonder-based learning is how I follow my kids' lead in their learning. They naturally have a million questions and are curious about the world around them. They’ve taught me that learning isn’t linear and that I don’t need to follow a curriculum for them to learn about what’s happening in the world around us. When I follow their lead by answering their questions, I am giving them the chance to make their own discoveries and I think that’s amazing.

Some things that help me foster their curiosity is to:

1. Jot down their questions. I keep a journal with all their questions so I don’t forget, and so we can deep dive into the answers together through books, videos, etc.

2. Strew a lot of different books from the library.

3. Slow down. I avoid rushing from one thing to the next, or over-scheduling. The more time I have to be in the moment and to notice, the more time I am able to foster that natural curiosity and also show them that I am interested in them. There’s so much magic that happens in regular day-to-day life.

4. Focus on experiences vs things. Exploring different parks, libraries, hiking, grocery shopping, appointments, etc.

How do you incorporate play into your children's education?

Because my oldest has experience with traditional schooling, she had some preconceived ideas about hating certain topics like math, so I focused on play to make learning those “dreadful” topics fun. My kids like to play games and make-believe, bake/cook, knit, and do crafts, etc. And since math is literally everywhere, it is pretty easy to incorporate. So our learning is focused around play and having fun. Here are some examples of where playing and learning happens at the same time:

Baking/Cooking: Lots of measurements, learning fractions, chemical reactions

Game-ify: Prodigy Math and Night Zookeeper are “learning” games, but my kids just have fun playing it, they don't realize they're learning

Make-believe: playing “store” where they buy and sell things with fake money

Outdoor play: we spend a lot of time outdoors learning to identify plants, building forts, making fires, and collecting materials for natural art projects. They’re playing a lot but also learning a lot too.

Can you elaborate on "breaking the cycle"? What specific communication patterns or experiences are you hoping to leave behind?

Ref: Your post about breaking the cycle and improving your communication and relationship with your kids.

Breaking cycles for me means changing patterns of how something has always been done both within the family, and beyond. It involves working on respectful communication, prioritizing relationships, and also decolonizing how we live life with the land and with others. Traditionally, I think there’s a lot of pressure for us to be dutiful descendants, and to please others. I know I had a hard time with this one when I first became a new parent, but now I feel more confident in following my instinct to do better for my children and make them proud first and foremost.

So I try to be very intentional with my parenting and mindful of what I say and do to foster a respectful relationship and build a strong connection with my kids and those around me. My top three tips for parents who want to do the same are:

1. Reparent yourself by identifying triggers and exploring feelings to help understand why you might react or feel a certain way. By recognizing patterns, it’s easier to stop and give yourself space for compassion and self-care. This helps me respond instead of react.

2. Don’t take it personally. Kids have a lot of big feelings and they need a lot of help navigating the rollercoaster of new experiences. When I remember that it’s not personal, it allows me to show up with more compassion and care.

3. Talk to (and listen to) your kids. We try to create lots of opportunities for togetherness and connection. We love eating our meals, going on hikes, and just doing day-to-day things together. It doesn’t need to be planned, it can happen while you’re washing the dishes or doing laundry together, or you can even use the time right before bedtime. Being a parent is hard and there’s a lot of juggling, but I think these little quiet times for connection make a huge difference and give kids the opportunities to express themselves and feel heard.

I think it’s important for everyone to break cycles, whether you homeschool or not. We not only benefit from stopping negative repeating patterns and attitudes, we gain more loving relationships and also we pass down more love, helpful tools, and positive change for future generations.

Did you encounter comparisons and judgments from people in your life?

I have certainly had my fair share of criticism and judgment from others. It helps me to remember that most people don’t understand what homeschooling is and that they likely don’t realize that it can look very different for every family.

I try to approach it by saying, “I appreciate that you care about my kid’s education. I do too. Their education and well being is so important to me, and that is why we have chosen this route.” And if there is more debating on the subject, I thank them again for their concern, but let them know that it’s not up for debate. The decision is between me and my kids.